I am going to see we need to talk about Kevin on Saturday afternoon. I am very excited about seeing it because the director, Lynne Ramsey, is one of my favourite directors of all time. Her film "The Ratcatcher" is the most heartbreaking film I have ever seen.

When I saw the trailer for the movie, I remembered that sitting on a shelf somewhere, in between boxes of old batteries and gu 10 led light bulbs I also had the book. So I started to read it.

I admit this isn't first time I had tried to read the book, I had started it once and found it too dreary and put it down. This time, with the exciting prospect of seeing the film the following week I pushed myself on through the first chapters, and became enthralled with it.

But it has also been making me feel incredibly depressed. I do not have children, and have always thought I would like them one day. This book is unraveling very deep seating psychological fears I didn't even know I had about becoming a mother. I am enjoying the book, but I think I need to read something much happier afterwards, just to bring my mood back to normal. Because at the moment every day life seems tinged with a despair I didn't know existed. And all i want to say is that I've never had a book affect me in such a profoundly negative way before.

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